I Know I Don't Show It...

I try real hard not to show how stressed out or sad I can get... You can see in my videos that I try to be happy.

Deep down though, I am hurting and I think my health could be taking a toll too... My chest still hurts, but I refuse to go to the doctor because I hate going to the doctors. I've had so many tell me I fake everything half the time until they realize I am telling the truth and they pretty much have egg on their faces. I honestly don't want to go down that road again... and I know, a lot of you are going to tell me to go to make sure I am alright, I'll be ok, promise.

My personal life has been pretty hard lately and I wish the time was right to do something about it. At this very moment, it is not the right time. I know it sounds weird, but you guys already know I'm kind of strange. I guess I just have this feeling deep inside and right now it's telling me it's not time yet.

I feel like I'm just a jellyfish going with the current because I honestly have no where to go right now... I'm just here... waiting...Waiting for a break, waiting for help, waiting for anything.....

I wish I could make sense of it all, but even then, you might not know what I'm talking about....


Wish me luck through this... I need every ounce I can get....


Lexy♥